When Life Gets Tough...

Erica Ryan

Posted on May 09 2016

Today marks one month and 3 days since I lost my sweet daddy.  He was an AMAZING man, full of life and laughter.  He'd had a bad heart for many years, and ironically, an unknown urinary infection sent him into full septic shock.  Most of his organs recovered, but sadly, his heart could not.  After just 3 and a half weeks, my daddy took his last breath.

These last weeks have taught me so many things, and I just felt like sharing.

1) Life, of course, is not guaranteed, and we need to make the most of EVERY moment we are given.  Things that seem like a big deal, eventually become the petty things we regret.

2) Everyone we meet is facing a battle of some sort, and compassion costs little, but means the world.  As I walked around in a complete daze, bumping into things and driving aimlessly, I began to wonder who else around me was feeling as lost as I was.  A random smile meant the world to me.

3) There's always time for work and chores.  There's not, however, always time to be with the ones we love.  For the three and a half weeks he was dying, I spent every second I could with him.  I sat there feeling ridiculous that I had let my business get in the way of spending more time with my family, and if I could do it all over again, I'd have spent way more time with my dad.  He was so full of love and laughter, and just lit up when I came to visit.

4) I want to strive to be the kind of person my dad was.  There is not a single soul that didn't adore my dad.  He had a glow about him that just made people flock to him, and he had the cutest dimples ever.  If I could be half the person he was, I'd be doing great!

I have been filled with a peace I can't explain (Phillipians 4:7), and I am grateful he isn't suffering anymore.  I'm happy he is with his brother who passed when he was just a teen, and I know he is rejoicing in heaven.  I miss him though.  I miss the way he would head straight for my fridge when he came to visit. I miss the way he would smile when the kids were talking. I miss the ways he would encourage me to be the best I could be, and most of all, I just miss his smile.  One day, we will meet again.

Love you daddy. 

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